Monday, March 27, 2017

How To Avoid Huge Ships

Owners of small boats occasionally veer of course, right? Most people need some careful words of wisdom in order to avoid these potentially fatal and common accidents.

I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer's other excellent books: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven't been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks, captain!

Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.

I'm a little annoyed with the sarcastic "reviewers" of this book. You all seem to think it's funny that some people would honestly like some expert advice on ways to avoid huge ships. What, you've never been traveling at a very, very slow speed straight toward something really, really big that you could see for miles and miles away, and wished you'd known what steps you could take to avoid crashing into it? Well, all I can say is "congratulations!" What's it like to be so perfect? You haters just keep on enjoying your huge-ship-collision-free little fantasies. I for one am going to buy this book and learn something, because I live in the real world, where huge ships and the dangers they present to people like me are actually a serious issue.


This book really is one of the best huge ship avoidance references I've come across, not just for the effective methods it teaches as to avoiding huge ships, but also for exploding some of the huge ship avoidance myths that many of us take for granted.

For example:
- Do not charge the huge ship at full speed in an attempt to scare it off. This may work with coyotes, but it is less effective with huge ships.
- Similarly, do not roll your boat over and play dead. Unless the huge ship is captained by a grizzly bear, this will not work.
- Do not attempt to go under the huge ship. This is typically not successful.
- Do not attempt to jump over the huge ship.

Captain Trimmer presents a rather novel technique for avoiding huge ships - move your boat out of the path of the huge ship. I know what you're thinking, this goes against conventional wisdom, but Trimmer presents significant empirical evidence to support his theory. Indeed, over the long run, moving out of the way will dramatically decrease the number of huge ship collisions you will have to endure in your daily life.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

Sounds pretty safe huh?

Let the sarcasm begin!

5.0 out of 5 stars The greatest thing ever invented!October 26, 2009
T. Meadows "TM"
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
Wow is this thing great! I use it as a "mini-bar" when the friends and I go out to the bars. I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila for myself and the friends as we drive from one bar to the next. We also discovered that if you place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate. If you swerve to the left or right the rumble strips on the road wake you up in plenty of time before you get into trouble. I can now take longer trips without being tired!

Also, I am now dating a midget and she fits nicely on the steering wheel desk which allows us to experiment sexually while driving. This thing is like WD-40 or duct tape, it is a million and one uses!

(Those top 1000 reviewers are very knowledgeable about these products).

4.0 out of 5 stars These worked great in the cockpit for our tanscontinental flights!November 4, 2009
Linky's Dad (Alexandria, KY) 
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
My copilot and I both used these during our "daily grind" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about "FAA and F16 fighters."

We'll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be...

Highly recommended!

5.0 out of 5 stars This thing is a life saver!November 11, 2009
Chris Coffman (St. Louis, MO) 
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
Believe it or not, I'm typing this review on my laptop steering wheel desk! As a school bus driver I was never be able to check my email and update facebook while at work. Now I am networking more than ever! I am recommending this product to the school board later this month.

5.0 out of 5 stars Like the maze game!July 30, 2010
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
This is so COOL!!!

I balance a ball on mine and try to keep it from rolling off the edge while driving by tilting the wheel back and forth and using the gas and brake. I must do this well as everyone around me honks with encouragement.

This is probably the most cleverly written one, notice the spelling.
2.0 out of 5 stars Not as convenient as I expectedNovember 19, 2009
John Meinken
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
I just picked uuyp my laptop hoder from the post offfice and I'm ddriving home now. It's OK Iguess, but the bumpy road majkes it hard to type. And theree's a lot of pedeestrians and traffi c that keep distracti9ng me fromm my computer.

It's prolly OK ffor web browsing or email, but I don'gt think it will be so useful for mmore complex tasks. Oh, and yyou can't make any sharrp turns. So when you turn right, somnetimess you have to use the oppsing lane of traffic.

Check it out for yourself. (Amazon Product Link)